


Eyes and Teeth

by spacexual



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Body Horror, Character Study, F/F, Gore, Nightmares, Starts out as asurei but then becomes asukacentric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 05:58:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1334611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacexual/pseuds/spacexual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asuka has been having nightmares. When she wakes up, it’s always drenched in sweat. When she looks around the room, Rei isn’t there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyes and Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> uh i think some clarification is necessary for some parts of this to make sense!   
> this au is based in france i suppose, or NERV uses french customs (kissing by way of greeting, etc) and the pilots room together(girls and boys in separate dorms though; imagine how SCANDALOUS it'd be if it were otherwise!! :o )

When they first meet, Asuka thinks she’s a ghost. She’s washing her hands in the bathroom, not really paying attention to anything other than herself, and then. A dust-soft voice asking for the soap, because the dispenser on her side is empty. Two sunset red eyes smoking right through her. Paper-white, paper-thin hair, laying softly around the girl’s face. Asuka freezes up when she sees her. Nothing with red eyes like that is natural. Her mind flicks through the possibilities, ticking them off-android? alien? _ghost_?

At first sight, Asuka thinks she’s a ghost.

**

They’re formally introduced the same day.

They smile like machines, touch cheeks. When Asuka’s face is pressed up against the ghost’s, she inhales. The ghost smells like stale air.

**

Asuka has been having nightmares. ( _Something pushes through her, easy as a pushpin. The same thing rakes itself down her face, clawing out one of her eyes (she has more than she should, she realizes). One eye pops out when the thing digs itself underneath it.The pain is both far away from her and writhing through her lungs, her stomach, her intestines, all at once. She is both watching, marveling at the agony, and suffering, marveling at how she’s not dead yet.)_

When she wakes up, it’s always drenched in sweat. When she looks around the room, Rei isn’t there.

**

She sees Rei’s EVA for the first time one day. She thinks it’s terrifying.

**

Rei isn’t casual in her touch. She doesn’t just give it out freely, like the other boy, that _Kaworu_ that Shinji is clearly enamored with. Rather, Rei asks for permission. The first time she does it, Asuka doesn’t think much of it. She only sees it as what’s deserved –(make sure it’s alright before you touch the hand of a queen).

The second, third, fourth times she has the same reaction. The fifth time, she starts to wonder. The sixth time, Asuka tells Rei that she can just touch her without asking. The look that passes over Rei’s face is one she can’t read.

**

She doesn’t like Kaworu at all. She sees something in his face each time they speak, and each time she notices the same weariness oozing from him. He always looks so _tired_.

When she mentions it to Rei, she doesn’t say anything. She just sighs heavily and looks away.

**

She runs away a while later, after Kaworu finally died and Rei became other.

She doesn’t think she can deal with piloting the EVA anymore.

They find her sitting in stale water, in a bathtub in a bombshell of a house. Her body is malnourished and her soul is blank.

**

The angel shines upon her. The holy light floods her. She tries to move the EVA but something’s wrong, her orders aren’t going through, so she tries again and again andOH GOD

SHECANTTHINKSHECANTMOVESHEDOESNTWANTTOREMEMBERMAKEITSTOPDIEDIEDIEMAKEITGOAWAYSHECANTREMEMBERTHISTHISISNTSUPPOSEDTOCOMEBACKMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOP _MOTHERNO_

**

She is gone for a long time. She doesn’t wake up for a while but she knows what is going on around her. She knows who the nurse is that keeps the IV full with the liquor sweet drugs and she knows who the doctor is that comes in every once in a while to monitor her progress.

She knows how awful, disgusting Shinji looked upon her and fell into rapture.

(She wants to forget but she remembers everything now.)

**

Her eye is gone. Her eye is gone. Her eye is gone. Hereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonhereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonhereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonhereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonhereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonhereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonhereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgonehereyeisgoneandshecan’tSEEandithurtssomuchMOTHERhelpmeMOTHERPLEASE

**

She is the only one fighting now. At first she lets the rage course through her, lets it take control, and she rides on it until her five minutes are up and she’s just a ragdoll. The rage dissipates when the mass production units start coming back and _oh._ The dream is happening. She is panicking, she’s all nerve ends and razor wire but that matters not because it isn’t her body being ruined like carrion it’s the EVA but she can feel it too and she’s never been so scared before.

_The EVAS push through her, easy as a pushpin. One of them rakes down her face, clawing out one of her eyes. Another pops out when the same EVA digs a finger underneath it. The pain is both far away from her and writhing through her lungs, her stomach, her intestines, all at once. She is both watching, marveling at the agony, and suffering, marveling at how she’s not dead yet. She wants to die. She wants it to stop. Mother. (Please make it stop.)_

**

After Shinji falls apart over her, Asuka pushes him off. (He can piece himself back together somewhere else.)She stands up, pushes her eyepatch away. When she closes her good eye, she can barely see. She stands, makes her way to the red ocean. The water is reflective. In her reflection, she sees her bad eye is all red. But that might just be the water.

**

There’s only starlight here. Shinji’s face is drenched in it when he sleeps, which is most of the time. When he’s awake, looking at Asuka for explanation, she bares her teeth. She doesn’t want to be the one to fix him.

**

She sometimes wakes up from dreams of Rei (paper skin, paper hair). One day she wakes up from a dream of Rei’s EVA ripping EVA02 apart instead of the mass production units(paper teeth? paper claws?).

**Author's Note:**

> i am absolute POOP at coming up with titles sighs,,,  
> uh don't hesitate to leave a comment & kudos!! and if u have a request for a fic then don't hesitate to let me know! u.u have a sick day!!


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